Sunday 10 July 2016

WHEN SUICIDAL AND AT RISK!


WHEN SUICIDAL AND AT RISK! 


(So yesterday I was inspired to write about the possibility of being suicidal (but not at risk) with a heavy focus on those who are post trauma but I feel this needs to be followed up with some information  around serious and AT RISK suicidal thoughts. 
Please,  please AlWAYS take a suicidal person seriously and don't hesitate to act if they are showing signs of deep depression. Some of the known reasons one may choose to take their life include:  depression,  mental illness, neglect/abuse,  trauma,  terminal illnesses etc. Helpful numbers and questions to ask at at the bottom of yesterday's post! ) 


6 reasons for suicide by Alex Lickerman, (internal medicine physician)
People who’ve survived suicide attempts have reported wanting not so much to die as to stop living, a strange dichotomy but a valid one nevertheless. If some in-between state existed, some other alternative to death, I suspect many suicidal people would take it. For the sake of all those reading this who might have been left behind by someone’s suicide, I wanted to describe how I was trained to think about the reasons people kill themselves. They’re not as intuitive as most think.


In general, people try to kill themselves for six reasons:

1. They’re depressed. This is without question the most common reason people commit suicide. Severe clinic depression is always accompanied by a pervasive sense of suffering as well as the belief that escape from it is hopeless. The pain of existence often becomes too much for severely depressed people to bear. The state of depression warps their thinking, allowing ideas like “Everyone would all be better off without me” to make rational sense. They shouldn’t be blamed for falling prey to such distorted thoughts any more than a heart patient should be blamed for experiencing chest pain: it’s simply the nature of their disease.

Because depression, as we all know, is almost always treatable, we should all seek to recognize its presence in our close friends and loved ones. Often people suffer with it silently, planning suicide without anyone ever knowing. Despite making both parties uncomfortable, inquiring directly about suicidal thoughts in my experience almost always yields a honest response. If you suspect someone might be depressed, don’t allow your tendency to deny the possibility of suicidal ideation prevent you from asking about it.


2. They’re psychotic. Malevolent inner voices often command self-destruction for unintelligible reasons. Psychosis is much harder to mask than depression — and arguably even more tragic. The worldwide incidence of schizophrenia is 1% and often strikes otherwise healthy, high-performing individuals, whose lives, though manageable with medication, never fulfill their original promise.

Schizophrenics are just as likely to talk freely about the voices commanding them to kill themselves as not, and also, in my experience, give honest answers about thoughts of suicide when asked directly. Psychosis, too, is treatable and usually must be for a schizophrenic to be able to function at all. Untreated or poorly treated psychosis almost always requires hospital admission to a locked ward until the voices lose their commanding power.

3. They’re impulsive. Often related to drugs and alcohol, some people become maudlin and impulsively attempt to end their own lives. Once sobered and calmed, these people usually feel emphatically ashamed. The remorse is usually genuine, and whether or not they’ll ever attempt suicide again is unpredictable. They may try it again the very next time they become drunk or high, or never again in their lifetime. Hospital admission is, therefore, not usually indicated. Substance abuse and the underlying reasons for it are generally a greater concern in these people and should be addressed as aggressively as possible.

4. They’re crying out for help and don’t know how else to get it. These people don’t usually want to die but do want to alert those around them that something is seriously wrong. They often don’t believe they will die, frequently choosing methods they don’t think can kill them in order to strike out at someone who’s hurt them—but are sometimes tragically misinformed. The prototypical example of this is a young teenage girl suffering genuine angst because of a relationship, either with a friend, boyfriend, or parent who swallows a bottle of Tylenol—not realizing that in high enough doses Tylenol causes irreversible liver damage.

I’ve watched more than one teenager die a horrible death in an ICU days after such an ingestion when remorse has already cured them of their desire to die and their true goal of alerting those close to them of their distress has been achieved.

5. They have a philosophical desire to die. The decision to commit suicide for some is based on a reasoned decision often motivated by the presence of a painful terminal illness from which little to no hope of reprieve exists. These people aren’t depressed, psychotic, maudlin, or crying out for help. They’re trying to take control of their destiny and alleviate their own suffering, which usually can only be done in death. They often look at their choice to commit suicide as a way to shorten a dying that will happen regardless. In my personal view, if such people are evaluated by a qualified professional who can reliably exclude the other possibilities for why suicide is desired, these people should be allowed to die at their own hands.

6. They’ve made a mistake. This is a recent, tragic phenomenon in which typically young people flirt with oxygen deprivation for the high it brings and simply go too far. The only defense against this, it seems to me, is education.

The wounds suicide leaves in the lives of those left behind by it are often deep and long lasting. The apparent senselessness of suicide often fuels the most significant pain survivors feel.

Alex Lickerman is an internal medicine physician at the University of Chicago


According to the black dog institute, 2,500 Australians take their lives each year and another 70,000 make an attempt meaning suicide is now the number one cause of death amongst young Australians aged 15 – 44 . It's a public health crisis that Black Dog Institute is working HARD to address!  They have found that Near 90% of suicide victims suffer from a preceding ongoing depression or other serious mental disorders. Studies show that the earlier a mental illness is diagnosed and treated, the better the chance of cure, and that early detection of mental illness reduces the suicide rate! 

RIGHT NOW the black dog institute are recruiting volunteers for a new online self-help program to help people manage suicidal thoughts! You must be between 18 and 64  to participate in the 'Healthy thinking trial' and be experiencing suicidal thoughts. It will take place over  six weeks and require you to complete several questionnaires. 
 To register for the trial follow this link:
WHEN TO SEEK HELP: 
As a general rule of thumb, if your feelings of depression persist for most of every day for two weeks or longer, and interfere with your ability to manage at home or outside the home, then you would benefit from assessment by a skilled professional. It's true, everyone feel's down from time to time BUT the key is knowing the difference between' feeling down' and chronic deep depression.
Some signs are: 
The following are a list of the features that may be experienced by someone with depression.
  • Lowered self-esteem
  • Change in sleep patterns
  • Change in mood control
  • Varying emotions throughout the day
  • Change in appetite and weight
  • Reduced ability to enjoy things
  • Reduced ability to tolerate pain
  • Reduced sex drive
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Impaired concentration and memory
  • Loss of motivation and drive
  • Increase in fatigue
  • Change in movement
  • Being out of touch with reality.

Can you be suicidal but not at risk??



Can you be suicidal but not at risk?? 

I recently read an article that was well written by a friend and industry colleague of mine on this topic and I thought it worth covering with my knowledge AND experiences.

It's  a great question really... 
As Casey covered in her piece,  the answer is simply a YES!   But let me clarify from the perspective of someone who has walked the suicidal line more times than I care to count and a professional who has worked with people whom have also been there and done that.

It's my experience  that people who have lived a life of trauma- even long after that trauma is behind them,  often wake each morning disappointed that they woke. They're emotionally damaged if not broken and trying to function in a world  that is a far cry from the world we are designed to live in.
We are made with a NEED for family and community..  it has been this was since the earliest records of man and still exercised by primitive tribes. Indigenous peoples and modern nomads live in groups of 12-24 because this is how we are wired to function! The cliche ' it takes a village to raise a child' is very true (most cliches are true – which is why they are cliches). Human beings aren’t meant to live as isolated units,  even if that unit is not just a single person but a unit of husband,  wife and children! We are hunter gatherer beings designed to live within tribes/communities/groups. I  mean, subdivision and privacy fencing only became a norm since the 1940's! 
People with a traumatic background in modern society feel this isolation more than anyone which feeds depression and suicidal tenancies in this privatized modern society we have created. With this being acknowledged,  it is hard to feel a sense of fulfillment of completion when the trauma is behind you but you have been segregated from your tribe - or in modern society,  your family and network but this also applies if one  doesn't feel accepted,  loved and wanted within said network. 

With the reason for these feelings being acknowledged and  understood, is it possible for someone who has been segregated physically OR feel segregated emotionally to be suicidal but not at risk?? As mentioned before- the answer is simply yes. A person may be disappointed to have woken and questioned why god won't  take them out of this living hell,  they may feel like a burden to those they love and as though they are a drain BUT it doesn't  necessarily  mean they are ready to give up,  it doesn't  necessarily mean they are likely to self harm. (I know THIS 1st hand as this is where I sit a majority of the time!) What it does mean though, is that we need to recognize those who don't  have the support from their network and plug them in where they can feel that support and connection/ find their place where they feel a sense of belonging. I don't  necessarily  mean a support group,  these can work but can also feed that isolated feeling as everyone in that group are experiencing these same feelings and focusing too much energy on the negatives can feed those feelings,  but instead,  it's my belief that looking for alternatives such as plugging them into friends  or family (remember,  family doesn't have to be blood -  family can be the friends who see you as one of them and accept you wholly - the way you deserve and you too can truly  reciprocate)  allows all participants involved to experience oneness, acceptance,  be apart of the tribe and provides a place of belonging. We NEED  elders to guide,  youngsters to to help create a future and leave a legacy too AND we need the middle agers-peers for friendship/support/kinship etc.

Frankly,  my observations boil down to fulfilling basic human needs! This  is what we as a society have forgotten how to do and this disassociation manifests into self hating and harming activities!  Can you imagine your life without your annoying brother or your mother in law who drives you up the wall but is well intended? Your great aunt that is barking mad and your cousins...
Family or tribes come with their good/ bad and indifferent BUT  you know they're there,  your loved and needed, you're respected on some level and in times of crisis - some if not all of that network is there. When one doesn't  have a network or a 'tribe'  if you will,  when they feel like the weight isn't  shared but owned by them alone, when they're not included in family activities or helping meet family needs,  when there is obvious exclusion or even perceived exclusion,  at times of social isolation,  trauma and loss is when it seems to be key times that we as a tribe,a friend or community need to watch for self harming behaviors and risks. 

Everyone's  signs are different but I'll  list some below to help you on your way to supporting  your loved one who you know is suicidal but not currently at risk.
If you notice these or others that you identify as their indicators, I would encourage you to reach out to that person. If you know who their key person is,  reach out to them also and ask for their help! (yes.. most have a key person who can 'reach'  them and snap them out of it. .. sometimes it's a case of the right words from the right person and problem solved.)
Keep contact with your loved one and most importantly,  if it looks like that person is in immediate danger, call your local mental health team. Most hospitals have one connected to them and some can come out to your loved one to do an assessment if you can't convince them to go into hospital. (Hospitalization isn't  the right answer for everyone and it's important to acknowledge this and consider  whether it is the right move for that person) 

And MOST importantly,  if someone you love does attempt or is successful  at suicide,  you need to know its  not your  fault!  
Some people are amazing at hiding the signs while others who do show signs (usually unintentionally) may not respond to help. This is not your fault!  Everyone is worth trying to save but not everyone wants to be! 

SOME signs to look out for- 
:Disengaging  from family and friends 
:Making plans but not following through- regularly and over a short period of time
:Curious social media posts that could be hinting that things aren't  right.
:Days off work with curious explanations.
:Isolating ones self
:Erratic driving 
:Sudden and new drug or alcohol usage
:Sudden obsessive behavior... this can include throwing them selves eye ball deep into their work. (Used as a distraction from life.) 
:Major changes to sleeping patterns – too much or too little 
:Loss of energy
:Loss of interest in personal hygiene or appearance or exaggerated attention to appearance.
:Loss of interest in sex OR excessive  need for sex
:Sudden and extreme changes in eating habits – either loss of appetite or increase in appetite
:Weight gain or loss 

-Conversational signs-
:No future – "What's the point? Things are never going to get any better"
:Guilt – "It's all my fault, I'm to blame"
:Escape – "I can't take this anymore"
:Alone – "I'm on my own … no-one cares about me"
:Damaged – "I've been irreparably damaged… I'll never be the same again"
:Helpless – "Nothing I do makes a bit of difference, it's beyond my control"
:Talking about suicide or death
:Planning for suicide

-Risk Assessment Questions you can use-

Do you intend to take your life? (Intention)
Do you have a plan to take your life? (Plan)
Do you have access to the means to carry the plan out? (pills, gun, etc) (Means)
Do you have a timeframe for taking your life? (Timeframe)


Some helpful numbers: 
Emergency
000
Ambulance/ Police / Fire

131 126
Poisons Information

 Information or over the phone & internet counselling 

But be mindful and remember.... 
It is possible to be suicidal  but not at risk....use your better judgement to determine whether you need to bring in outside help. Sometimes the only help needed is to help them identify their  place of belonging. In the case of it turning from a thought to an action,  it is not your fault! 

If interested in what provoked me to address this subject, feel free to check out Casey's blog: https://walkingtheborderblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/10/im-suicidal-but-im-not-at-risk/

Friday 1 July 2016

DOVV bumper sticker!!!

So... in today's blog I spoke about how I got dad's stickers off the car and ordered some that represent me. The one that I personally had made up arrived this afternoon and I couldn't wait to put it up. I love how it represents not just pride in dad's service, but the trials and struggles of being his daughter.

If anyone else would like one, I can get more made up but their $15 inc postage unless I get 20+ orders.... the price comes down with bulk orders.