Owl: Narcissistic Personality Disorder – being excessively preoccupied with themselves. Owl believes that he is the most clever animal in the wood, boasting how he has brains whilst “the others have fluff”
SO, WHAT IS NARCISSISM?
Ok, so recently I received an email asking me to cover
narcissism or narcissistic personalities after discussing bipolar type II and
the impact of schema. REMEMBERING - I am not a psychiatrist or
psychologist! All I can do is shed my
personal understanding. I'm happy for
readers to correct me (respectfully) if I am mistaken in the comments under
this post.
So......
From my limited
studies last year and having a narcissistic cousin, I understand that
narcissists are angered by anything that seems to suggest that like any other
human, they too have flaws! They will do just about anything, including
brutalizing their own family to maintain that facade of perfection.
Narcissists have extreme and illogical sensitivities,
sometimes connecting the most minute observations with their intense fears of
being perceived as flawed. Narcissists will strain every muscle to meet their
own "flawless" image, and demean or destroy anyone or anything who
casts any doubt over that image. Nearly
everyone knows a narcissist and you probably don't need to think to hard to
spot that person in your circle.
People with the
disorder suffer with issues of power, recognition and vanity and their lack of
empathy toward others can be extremely destructive to relationships. However,
under their inflated self-confidence and preoccupation with self-image lies a
fragile self-esteem and a feeling of inadequacy.
I haven't read any material that indicates the cause of
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, however, just like most personality
disorders, it is probably a mix of childhood experiences and genetic
vulnerabilities but there seems to be a suggestion that disorder may develop as
a coping mechanism for a damaged self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Narcissistic rage is common and usually the first sign to
those around the narcissist that there is a problem. It can be provoked by the
slightest—real or imagined—narcissistic insult, such as not being seen,
understood, or appreciated, in the way one feels he deserves. Narcissistic envy
may also arise; one hates anyone who has (or seems to have), a rich inner life
or external acclaim and feels pain about not having what the other has.
Narcissistic range has several characteristics that
differentiate it from other kinds of anger and rage such as:
*It feels and appears irrational, for it is greatly out of
proportion to the situation that provoked it. ( This gives the rage the quality
of being uncontrollable)
*This rage tends also to be acted out because of or in
addition to righteousness and indignation, there is a sense of entitlement
*The irrationality and uncontrolled quality of this rage
make's the person closed off to others’ responses or reasoning
* There is a blaming and defensive characteristic of the narcissistic rage which gives it an
isolating quality. (This schizoid
quality is reflected in the actual energetic state of narcissistic rage.)
* A narcissist feels, and is perceived by others as, hard
and impenetrable, almost inhuman . There is a meanness in this reaction, a
desire to inflict pain, to get back, to avenge oneself.
Narcissistic rage is also characterized by a tendency to
devalue the self-object with an intense need to demean and insult . They are
motivated to dissolve their wounds by causing a similar wound to the person or
perceived people who caused theirs.
The key to
interacting with someone you suspect is narcissistic is to break the vicious
circle—to gently thwart their frantic efforts to control, distance, defend or
blame in the relationship by sending the message that you’re more than willing
to connect with them, but not on these terms; to invite them into a version of
intimacy where they can be loved and admired, warts and all—if they only allow
the experience to happen.
In Chinese the ideogram for "crisis" and
"opportunity" is one and the same. Helping your narcissist transform
their curse into a blessing in other people's lives could indeed benefit the
narcissist's self growth and understanding
PLUS help others on their way. Encourage them to tell their story, to
teach others how to avoid the same pitfalls, how to cope with the damage in a
but in a more institutionalized manner.
encourage them to assist other narcissists personal growth. As they explore and identify
their own strengths and weaknesses, you will find it changes the dynamics of
external relationships with people such as yourself. In saying this, I feel the
best advise of all is to encourage the loved ones of narcissists to seek help
for themselves so they can identify whether it is safe to stay in the
relationship, get individualized guidance on how to deal with and help your
particular narcissist as well as explore skills to potentially encourage the
narcissist to seek professional help for them selves.
(I hope this has helped a little.)
Reach out is a great
NGO with information and resources you may wish to tap into if you or someone
you know and love suffers a personality disorder or mental health issues. I
have referred many friends to this site over the years as well as clients when
in youth work.
http://au.reachout.com/help-services-for-personality-disorders
5 more character's we grew up to love that suffer Narcissism
SLike Pepe, someone can exhibit NPD in multiple ways, as there is more than one way to make the world revolve around yourself. Pepe’s NPD stems from his belief in ideal love, and that he is the ideal lover. Pepe’s behavior towards his unfortunate amour, Penelope, shows a lack of empathy, as well as an inability to believe that she really does not want to be with him, that comes from his perceived entitlement to her. He shows arrogant behavior (claiming that he is too attractive) and requires an unrealistic amount of affection (from a stranger!) in order to be happy.
Queen Grimhilde from Snow white is a textbook narcissist: she’s vain, selfish, and has an inflated sense of self-importance. Someone needs to teach this lady how to age gracefully.
Jafar, the recognizable baddie from Aladdin is a possible example of a either a sociopath OR narcissist! He is extremely cruel, displaying zero empathy when he sacrifices a young boy for the realization of his goals. Jafar is antisocial, with no apparent moral responsibility or sense of conscience. He is charming and manipulative, and ruthless in his attempts to rule the Universe.
Scar's deep-seated narcissism has him fiercely devoted to his own thirst for power. He might be aware of the destructive force of his power struggles on those around him but it doesn’t matter to him. As for his tyrannical leadership of the hyena population; Scar is arrogant and demanding and he expects everyone to follow his every whim, something that becomes apparent when he replaces his dead brother as king of the pride.
Gilroy Lockhart from the Harry Potter series This is the definition of narcissism. Lockhart is hilarious. One of the comical moments from the series is when Lockhart is talking to Harry during his detention and says “Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.” *turn and smile* He goes to such lengths as to fake his fame and risk the deaths of many students just to keep his ego fed.
